teri

My dog is so sick.  She has a spontaneous closed pneumothorax that I've had treated one time, and didn't heal.  Turns out that what she has is rare and hard to treat (open chest exploratory surgery is one of the tests recommended and that doesn't even get in to the treatment portion - I had a second opinion today with no good news).  Basically, that means I can't pursue treatment so I am watching her, and when things deteriorate more I will have to put her down.  I've been watching her for weeks already and this wasn't an easy decision to come to.  Her breathing is already labored, so based on my observations and conversations with the vet, i'm looking at days or possibly weeks until she can't breathe on her own anymore and I have to put her down.

My heart is breaking.  Sasha is only 9-1/2.  I got her about 8 years ago, when I was moving into the first apartment that I've ever lived in alone.  I've never lived alone actually, because i've had her with me since then.  She used to come to work with me and sleep under my desk and get walked on the burke-gilman by all of my office mates.  She caused all kinds of trouble when I first had her, ruining walls and carpet in my apartment and eating her way through entire book and CD collections.  Since then she has mellowed out and become a beloved companion, guard dog and roomate.

Sasha looks tough but she is afraid of the washing machine, the sound of food cooking in a frying pan, the smoke alarm and the blue angels, but she would defend me to the death if something threatened me.  I remember taking her on a hike at Mt. Baker about 5 years ago.  We were heading down the trail and from a distance, I saw a man approaching that just didn't look right to me.   There was no specific reason, but he just didn't seem right and I was scared.  Sasha (who normally wags her tail and licks strangers) ran ahead of me, planted herself in front of the dude and growled with all of her teeth bared (this from a dog who will happily share her dog bed with a teeny baby peacefully). . .as I moved closer and passed the guy on the trail, Sasha kept moving her body so that she was always between me and the guy.  She didn't bite him or attack, but it was clear that she wouldn't have let him anywhere near me. 

Another remarkable thing about my dog, is that if I am ever crying, she will come over and rest her head on my leg.  She's had my back for a long time.  Currently, her best friend is a 2 year old baby, one of my best friend's little boys, Liam.  Liam crawls on my dog, naps with her. sticks his hands in her eyes, ears and mouth and Sasha is always patient and gentle with him.  She is a husky/shepard mix and can look scary, but is one of the most gentle dogs I have ever known.

I am so sad at the prospect of putting her down, and wishing I had the kind of salary that would allow for thousands of dollars of treatments.  She has been so playful and healthy until now, that it is very difficult to accept that it is her time.  I'm taking her to Whidbey Island this weekend and will let her run around on the beach off leash as much as she wants.  Exercise is hard on her lungs at this point, but I'd rather see her outside somewhere she loves, than be cooped up in my apartment in the city.  Mostly, I just hope it's clear to me when it is the time to put her down.  Everyone says I will know, but that seems impossible to me right now.  :(

I used to update a blog with photos of Sasha, so in case you don't remember how good looking my dog is, you should look at http://sashathewonderdog.blogspot.com/ .  She looks exactly the same as when I got her at 2 years old. 

1. i'm teaching at a new school this year and i love, love, love it.  it's an old haunted looking building that used to be an orphanage.  it's surrounded by woods and statues and grottoes and orchards and rose gardens.  i have mixed feelings about teaching at a private school, but the economy landed me hear and i love it and don't plan on leaving soon.

2.  i'm going to Europe in August.  what started as the idea of spending a week in Paris with some girlfriends has turned into me planning a much longer itinerary that includes visiting old friends in Germany, bike riding around in the countryside and spending a week lounging on the beach and hiking in Crete.  i haven't traveled nearly enough lately and it's amazing how energized i am with a trip on the horizon.

3.  increasing fuel prices and tight pants have driven me to consider bike commuting again.  my apartment and school are both close to the burke gilman trail.  i have some REI giftcards and a dividend and a 20% off coupon so i'm buying a new bike this weekend and putting my plan into action.  saved money + smaller pant size = big win.  hopefully i can stick with it.

4.  the universe dealt me a kind hand this week when i got in a fender bender in the U. Village parking lot.  it was my fault (technically, though i would argue that the dippy college girl who i hit zipped into the spot next to me way too quickly!) BUT i have good insurance.  since the damage to my car was minimal and cosmetic, i'm going to skip the repairs and keep the money.  it's as if the universe knew i was trying to figure out how i was going to afford the flight to Paris!!

5.  my students and i are incubating eggs and expecting to have baby chicks hatching next week!  the excitement in my classroom is palpable, and i have a feeling that literacy and math are going to be thrown to the curb next week as we watch chicks peck out of their shells and fluff up under the heat lamp.  we have 20 eggs and are anticipating a 60-80% hatch rate.  i am SO excited.

this month in 3rd grade, we are studying greek mythology.  today we read the myth "Apollo's Tree:  The Story of Daphne and Apollo".  In the story, Cupid shoots Apollo so that he falls madly in love with Daphne and then, to punish Apollo, shoots Daphne so that she will never love him or want to marry him.  hilarity ensues when Apollo chases Daphne around "On the Wings of Love" until Daphne tires and he almost catches her.  in the nick of time, Daphne's father turns her into a laurel tree so that she can always be wild and free.  really, I think its' a delightful story.

anyway - I give the students reflection questions to write about, and one of the questions was, "What is it that Daphne never wants to do?", the answer I had in mind was "Get married".  So, one of the kids in my class comes up to me and says he doesn't get the question.  I ask him, what DOESN'T Daphne want to do, to which he replies "kiss Apollo?" and I said, "close, but you aren't quite there yet!"

and he looks at me earnesty and says, "she doesn't want to get pregnant". 

at that point I almost fell out of my chair from laughing.

another silly response came from one student who mis-spelled "changes" to "chains" so that instead of Daphne becoming a tree, she ends up chained into the tree. 

well, school is out and i've been on summer vacation for an entire week already.  so far i've managed to pack in:  a fabulous girls night at chez mom and dad (hooray for hot tubs and outdoor fire pits!), a lovely day hike at Steven's Pass, some quality time with nieces, nephews and sisters, a lunch and movie date with a good friend and a 3 day climbing/camping excursion in Leavenworth. 

camping and climbing in Leavenworth was lovely.  David and I headed out in the new truck he just bought and met up with my old friend, Ben, from college.  i suspected David and Ben would hit it off and i was correct.  we had a wonderful time climbing (i finally conquered a difficult crack climb i've never managed before and have bruises and scrapes all over my arms to prove it) and eating and drinking beers around the campfire. 

things with David continue to go well, and it's been 3 months already since we started seeing each other again!  in general, we are taking things slow and having a pretty good time :) 

tomorrow i am off to climb Ingall's Peak with a girlfriend.  i don't have much mountaineering experience, just rock climbing and backpacking, so this is new and a little scary for me.  i am afraid of heights and don't know if it will be scary in a fun way, or just scary and not fun at all.   i am happy to be heading up with a friend who has a lot of experience with the climb we are doing, and also who is one of the most mellow, patient women that i know.  hopefully it will be a fun experience, either way, it is something i have been wanting to try and i am excited to be pushing myself out of my comfort zone. 

anyway - other plans for the summer include lots of hiking, running, cycling and yoga classes.  maybe some floating down rivers or lakes or paddling around in a kayak or canoe.  i may be headed to wyoming at some point to see a friend and will also be road tripping to wisconsin later in the summer.  i am very happy to have survived the last school year and am SO glad to have the next couple of months to myself.

today my third graders wrote in their journal about how they would like to spend their summer break.  one of my students wrote,

"as much as possible, i plan to sit in my garden and re-read the Harry Potter series over and over again"

as soon as i read that, i realized that that is exactly what i want to do to.  just sit around in my yard in the sun and read books.  can it be summer vacation now?  i am so over my classes. 

my third graders are working in groups on small research projects.  they have been reading about various native american tribes and are making posters and writing presentations to teach the rest of the class about the tribes they researched. 

i overheard a little argument going on in one of the groups this morning and couldn't help giggling when i got close enough to hear what the argument was about.  they are working on the title of their poster.

one little boy said, 'i think the title should be green, teri likes green'

one outspoken girl said, 'no!  she prefers orangey-yellow!  the color of mangoes!'

the little boy replied, 'i'm pretty sure it is green, she wears that one green sweater all the time!"

to which the girl said, 'i know i'm right.  it's orangey-yellow.  she will like my idea best'

there is something really wonderful about having a roomful of children completely eager to please you.  :)


on another note:  in kindergarten we are learning a new song, "the alphabet of nations" by They Might Be Giants.  i love that my kindergartners know how to pronounce kazakhstan and zimbabwe and bulgaria etc.  next week we will find the countries on the globe.  for any of you folks with toddlers and preschoolers at home.  . .i totally recommend the They Might Be Giants ABC album if you haven't heard it before!  the kids love it because it doesn't sound like a lot of baby-ish lame kids stuff sounds.  it's a little more edgy ;)

last weekend my family went to mass together, and then celebrated the baptism of my cousin Zoe's, new baby Lucy.    i happily get to be the sweet new baby's godmother, and the day was great.  baby Lucy was tranquil and calm and wide awake during the entire ceremony which was very sweet. 

the highlight for me though came after the ceremony.  my little niece Quinn had spent most of the baptism with her eyes glued on the priest who was wearing very colorful, shiny robes.  on our way out the door, Quinn (who at 4 years old, already has a keen eye for fashion) stopped and looked up at the priest, pulled on the hem of his robes until she had his attention, leaned in to him and said, "that is a GREAT outfit!"

low points today:

- finding out my grandma is in an ICU, basically comatose, going through drug and alcohol withdrawals and a broken hip
- getting yelled at by a parent who felt that i am guilty of neglect because i didn't pay more attention to his child who had been bullied on the playground (a long and complicated story)
- getting yelled at by an administrator in regards to the same issue when he really should have been supporting me because none of this was MY FAULT
- getting singled out and reprimanded for doing something that EVERY single teacher i know does.
- an awkward conference in which we recommended special ed. for a boy who needs it, and having the mom accuse me of ME being the problem, not the fact that her son (an illiterate third grader) most likely has a severe learning disability and needs help that i am not capable of giving. 


high points today:
- baking biscuits with my kindergarteners and eating our hot biscuits fresh out of the oven, smothered with jam and honey
- receiving a flood of delightful cards from my kindergarteners, many of whom spelled out 'teri' in painstakingly perfect cursive
- getting roses from a student
- receiving a wonderful email from a mom who is grateful for my work with her daughter who adores me. 
- a pep talk from my mom who thinks my principal and assistant principal are both enormous assholes.
- a supportive colleague dragging me off campus for a coffee break because she KNOWS the administrators were being unreasonable and mean to me
- a cozy night at my pub with lovely people, good beer and a great pizza with spinach, roasted peppers and goat cheese. 

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so yeah.  thank god it is mid-winter break and i am headed to the San Juans tomorrow afternoon.  i SO need a break.

I found a new sport.  I used to be an avid downhill skiier.  I was an instructor and was at the mountain every weekend.  The last few years though i've barely skiied at all.  It is too expensive and too crowded and you spend half of the time sitting on a chairlift, or worse, waiting in the chairlift line.

Today I went skate skiing for the first time.  It cost $50 for a package that included rentals, a day pass and a lesson (which turned out to be a private lesson because noone else showed up!).  I actually did fairly well, my instructor said i'll be ready for an intermediate lesson next time. 

The best part about it though, is that you get to cruise around on beautiful trails in the forest and it is so quiet and peaceful.  It is fast too, so even as a beginner I went about 8 miles today, much more quickly than if I had been on my snowshoes. 

The other great thing is that it is the BEST workout ever.  I only went for two hours, but i'm pretty sure I burned a million calories and my body is completely exhausted now.  I would have to downhill ski for 7-8 hours in a row to feel as worn out as I am right now.